Thursday, June 19, 2014

Men and Commitment Issues

One of these days I went on Facebook to go through my newsfeed and see what my friends have been up to. I saw this thought provoking post.

If you are like me you just scroll through the newsfeed because your 15mb that is supposed to last a week usually finishes after 3 days. If your post is really good I press the like button. If it is so thought provoking I might have to comment (#JustSaying its not pride if I see your post and pass by, it is mb deficiency lol).

One of my gazilion Facebook friends posted, "If you find a girl that is willing to go through hell to keep the relationship going, you really shouldn't take her love for granted". My response read, "Odds are you wouldn't keep the relationship going just 'cause she's willing to go through hell. People respond better to people who seem not to care #Fact". He's response was in agreement with mine.

Another reason I might have forgotten to add was that men often times are not 'ready' for serious relationships. 

I have come to realize that a guy saying, "I'm not ready to get married" is the same thing as  "I'm not ready for a serious relationship" and it is also the same thing as,"I'm not ready for commitment"

In other words if you hear a guy start a statement with,"I'm not ready..." and that statement is addressing your relationship, it's best you cut your losses and run for the hills. 

I saw another post on Facebook recently and I had to repost in on Facebook and instagram. "No matter how good of a woman you are, you will never be good enough for a man who isn't 'ready' ". 

It's just the truth. The thing is some guys do skip the part that they are not ready. Some actually do say it but not in the actually words. You have to decipher it by really listening. 

Men have trouble with communication in general. 'Two and half men' is a classic tv series of how men communicate. Saying things like, "She let me put my trendsetter in her back room whoop-whoop". "You dipping the marshmallow and the guacamole?". 

I thinks it's best to be plain. No girl wants to date a guy for 4 years starting at the age of 21 only to be 'dumped' on her 25th birthday not cause you found a younger model (which happens most of the time) but because you are not 'ready'. 

This brings us to the question, "Why are men so scared of commitment?". Funny it's the same guy who says, 'I'm not ready...' that would get married to another girl barely 6 months after your breakup because 'he saw what he wanted'. 

It is like a trend nowadays that men wait for one of the guys in their clique to get the love bug and then,  they realize they need to be in a serious relationship and probably get married soon after too.

Some can't seem to wrap their head around the fact that they might have to 'dip just in the marshmallow' so they gotta have options. Others could just care less.

PS. To all girls out there, be wary of time wasters.
If someone wants to be with you, they'll do EVERYTHING in their power to be with you. No excuses.

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Men and Commitment Issues

One of these days I went on Facebook to go through my newsfeed and see what my friends have been up to. I saw this thought provoking post.

If you are like me you just scroll through the newsfeed because your 15mb that is supposed to last a week usually finishes after 3 days. If your post is really good I press the like button. If it is so thought provoking I might have to comment (#JustSaying its not pride if I see your post and pass by, it is mb deficiency lol).

One of my gazilion Facebook friends posted, "If you find a girl that is willing to go through hell to keep the relationship going, you really shouldn't take her love for granted". My response read, "Odds are you wouldn't keep the relationship going just 'cause she's willing to go through hell. People respond better to people who seem not to care #Fact". He's response was in agreement with mine.

Another reason I might have forgotten to add was that men often times are not 'ready' for serious relationships. 

I have come to realize that a guy saying, "I'm not ready to get married" is the same thing as  "I'm not ready for a serious relationship" and it is also the same thing as,"I'm not ready for commitment"

In other words if you hear a guy start a statement with,"I'm not ready..." and that statement is addressing your relationship, it's best you cut your losses and run for the hills. 

I saw another post on Facebook recently and I had to repost in on Facebook and instagram. "No matter how good of a woman you are, you will never be good enough for a man who isn't 'ready' ". 

It's just the truth. The thing is some guys do skip the part that they are not ready. Some actually do say it but not in the actually words. You have to decipher it by really listening. 

Men have trouble with communication in general. 'Two and half men' is a classic tv series of how men communicate. Saying things like, "She let me put my trendsetter in her back room whoop-whoop". "You dipping the marshmallow and the guacamole?". 

I thinks it's best to be plain. No girl wants to date a guy for 4 years starting at the age of 21 only to be 'dumped' on her 25th birthday not cause you found a younger model (which happens most of the time) but because you are not 'ready'. 

This brings us to the question, "Why are men so scared of commitment?". Funny it's the same guy who says, 'I'm not ready...' that would get married to another girl barely 6 months after your breakup because 'he saw what he wanted'. 

It is like a trend nowadays that men wait for one of the guys in their clique to get the love bug and then,  they realize they need to be in a serious relationship and probably get married soon after too.

Some can't seem to wrap their head around the fact that they might have to 'dip just in the marshmallow' so they gotta have options. Others could just care less.

PS. To all girls out there, be wary of time wasters.
If someone wants to be with you, they'll do EVERYTHING in their power to be with you. No excuses.

Saturday, June 7, 2014

"My friends are having scandalous sex, why can't I do too?"

"We writers are a envious bunch", said the character of Logan Lerman in the movie 'Stuck in Love'. 

I guess it solves the mystery of wonder why I love to read works done by other writers on paperbacks, ebooks and blogs. I recently read this piece by Jessica Bennet on Wordpress "The Shame of the Male Virgin" http://wordpress.com/read/post/id/1359921/117585/

This piece was a shock. It was about this guy, Elliot Rodger a UCSB student who killed himself and six others because he was a virgin and couldn't deal with the fact that he was lonely, depressed, humiliated and had a problem with his mental health, maybe. 

He probably needed a shrink but didn't realize it and now it's too late. He never kissed a girl and found it difficult to comprehend why women always seem to pass him up.

What probably affected his psych the most was the assumption of the culture we seemed to have found ourselves that elaborates masculinity with casual sex, beer (and other alcoholic beverages), guns, pornography and  the rest of them. 

There is drive for every man out there to reach this mythical 'player status'. Your peers laugh at you if you've never kissed a girl at 13.  They may  go as far as calling you gay. You on the hand, because of the pressure to prove you are not gay, get one or two STDs in the process.

Some peers go as far asking you film the encounter to show them as prove. What they do not realize is that child pornography is punishable even if you are below 18. They also fail to think about the future if such moving pictures get on the Internet.

Elliot Rodger who at 22 was probably never able to be part of the cool kids because of the lifestyle he chose. He was isolated and craved to belong.  He believes no one respects a man who is unable to get a woman as he so clearly put it.

Men often times believe their number of sexual partners equals their value as male says Therese Shechter. Women on the other hand are often times punished for their sexual choices.

Women are often on the loosing side in a sexual equation. From Jody calls to actual groping are a number of things the female folks suffer and the brutes still say, "She was asking for it". Men are not resistant too. Some like Edgar too do suffer from such situations. 

There are some out there who were never criticized for the decision to be virgins. They probably never told anyone or were just so confident among peers and the opposite sex that no one ever doubted their sexual activeness.

In a society where 'everyone seems to be doing it', this may be a hard decision to make. You may decide to make less fuss about it by not wearing a purity ring because this just calls for unnecessary attention. You may decide to join societies that actually are made of people who do not believe that sex is a social currency. This will help prevent feelings of humiliation, loneliness, depression and overall mental health.

Make sure that everything you do revolves around you being a better person that you are. This is because there is no shame in being a virgin male or female. It is a pride. Your pride. To be untainted with all the baggage sex brings like guilt, broken hearts, unrealistic expectations, pain, STIs, STDs and so much more.

That your friends are having scandalous sex doesn't mean you should do it. You are making the right decision for you by not doing such. So hey, chin up, You are doing the RIGHT THING for You.

I pray the seven souls of UCSB rest in peace.

Monday, May 12, 2014

Truth about Online Shopping

Someday this last few months, I had to study for this exam but to take a break I decided to a little social media peek. I was cruising my facebook page when something caught my eye in the newsfeed '50% off all skirts on Jumia' and I was so amazed that i had to click on the link. I was required to fill in my email address to get a free #1000 voucher to go on. I saw the most amazing pieces and didn't think much about it until the next day.
I got the mail the next day starting I had a free #1000 welcome voucher and boy was I happy.The downside was that in order to use the coupon, i had to spend #5000 so i went back on the site and devised a way to spend #5000 and still buy things within budget. I ended up buying a dress that was 57% off, an opaque tight at 60% off, two phone cases at 89% off each and an extensible stocking I bought at the original price. All this products valued at #5133. The delivery fee #850 coupled with my free voucher made my fee #4983 that day. I chose to pay on deliver(not that I have trust issues lol). My goods were delivered to me and I felt awesome for being a shopping ninja. 

Each generation comes up with ways to make things easier. Shopping for one can be very cruel if you happen to go with the previous generation who prefer to go from stall to stall and price each item until the seller is frustrated. I prefer the way my generation does it. To enjoy the benefits of online shopping it is important to know the price of goods in the open market so that you know how much to spend online.I personally do not care to buy dresses marked "New In" this being the idea of spending more that #3500 on a dress not made by an high end designer is crazy to me (coo coo).  What I do is add them to my Wishlist and wait for a period of time till it is tagged '5 left' because by this time they are itching to sell and restock so it is usually with massive discounts as high as 68% off.

Also, if you want to buy a dress make sure you know the materials-cotton, viscose, spandex,linen etc- used to make the cloth items so you know how much you are willing to pay for it. Another rule I also have is to ensure that I know the size of the dress I am about to buy. If you have fluctuating weight like I do, it is important to buy dresses that would be at a size halfway so that your dress fits you all year round. 

I hope I was able to help. Have fun shopping!!!!!

Sunday, March 9, 2014

Odekanmi Billion: What the Bible says about Homosexuality

Odekanmi Billion: What the Bible says about Homosexuality: I tried to do some research after I realized one of my favorite tv actors of all time is an homosexual. It didn't quench my thirst for...

Sunday, March 2, 2014

What the Bible says about Homosexuality

I tried to do some research after I realized one of my favorite tv actors of all time is an homosexual. It didn't quench my thirst for his work. In fact I found him even more fascinating and I said to myself, "Too bad for me". This made me to want to find out what I could in the bible. I got some amazing passages from which I would now write what I grasped.

In Gen 19: 1-13, tells about two angels that were sent to Lot in Sodom. The angels were threatened with homosexual rape by the men of Sodom. Lot even offered his daughters yet they refused. The men of Sodom insisted it was his visitors they wanted and even threatened to "deal worse" with him. The angels in turn smote them with blindness and told Lot and his family to leave. Then, they destroyed Sodom. I think it is important to note that even before the angels arrived into Sodom, God had made up his mind to go to Sodom and Gomorrah because the cries he had heard and their sin was grievous (Gen 18:20). God had concluded in Genesis 18: 22 if he found 10 righteous in the city, he would not destroy it. The angels that were sent just might have spared  Sodom  if the men did not do the wicked act towards them. 

Lev 18: 22 is another passage homosexuality is said to be addressed. The chapter started off with God telling Moses the ordinances  he has made to set apart the Israelites from the Egyptians and Canaanites. These things warned against were considered abominable customs (vs30). Vs 22 says you shall not lie with mankind as with womankind for it is an abomination. The chapter also talks about how one should not "uncover naked" relations such kinswoman and family members. It was with the neighbor's wife it was specified "lie carnally". Although it was said not to "lie" with beasts too. God told the people not to defile themselves of such things. Lev 20 talks more about the punishment due to the breaking of these ordinances. Vs 13 says the man that lies with a man as he does a woman have both committed an abomination and should both be put to death.  This chapter also says the same for adultery. We should recall in the new testament when the Pharisees brought the adulterous woman to Jesus and she was forgiven of her sins. It can then be said now that Jesus would in turn say, "Go and sin no more" rather than put to death an homosexual as the psalmist says, " If you O Lord should mark our guilt, Lord who would survive".

The original word abomination was translated to in this passage meant something morally disgusting and it may say some strong implication of idolatry. Also the word "homosexual" was coined in the 19th century and the bible talked of sexual topics in code like phrases.

The book of Corinthians by St. Paul in chapter 6 talks about the way people should relate to themselves keeping in mind that our bodies belong to God and not for fornication or unrighteousness. Vs 9-11 says nothing unrighteous shall enter into God's kingdom and also "abuser of themselves with mankind" among others. St Paul also spoke in Romans 1 of unrighteous men who hold the truth in unrighteousness and how God gave them up to uncleanliness  through lust, Vs 24 to dishonor their bodies between themselves. Romans 1: 26 said God gave them up to vile affections- which included homosexual acts between and women alike. This came to them because of their idolatry of changing the image of God into an image made like the corruptible man. 1 Timothy 1 urged Timothy to stay put and make sure no other doctrines was taught. 1 Timothy Vs 8-10 mentioned that the law is not for the righteous but the lawless and disobedient and among those mentioned are those that "defile themselves with mankind". 

These passages have shown that sexual orientation is not a sin. It is certain actions that are prohibited by the Bible teachings not tendencies or feelings. If a personal has homosexual feelings it may be a passing phase that will fade away in time meanwhile such feelings should not be given much thought so they become an obsession with the feeling of indulging in this kind of sexual activity - lasciviousness.

Gal 5 : 19-21 continued from where Romans 1 left off telling about faith, love, the law and warnings of satisfying the flesh which is against the Spirit even with lasciviousness- meaning feeling or showing strong sexual desire. These goes without saying that the verses are for all sexual desires. It is said that it is these sins that defile a man from the inside.  Mark 7 talks even more about holiness. The Pharisees and Scribes thought of Jesus' disciples as eating defiled food because they didn't wash their hands. Jesus however rebuked them saying God's love was more important than the laws of man. He further said that it was what came out of a man that defiles him. Mark 7: 20- 23 spoke of such sins including adultery, fornication and lasciviousness. It is the same account that was given in Matt 16: 19- 20. 

Now some my argue that marriage is for everyone and that everyone should, at some point in their lives, find a partner and be wedded as husband and wife. Gen 2: 21-25 talks about the creation of a woman out of a man to be of help to the man and how the man and woman were made to be "man and his wife". Also, Matt 19: 4-6 says God created a man and a woman and they shall be one flesh. Matthew further explained it wasn't for everyone. That there are eunuchs from their mother's womb, some made from men and other who made themselves for the sake of heaven (vs 10-12). 1 Cor 7 talks also about marriage and celibacy. Vs 7-9 stresses how gifts from God are different from one person to another and how it would be good for the unmarried and widows to abide. 1 Cor 7:6 stressed this wasn't  a commandment but more of a guideline.These passages helps one to understand that marriage between a man and a woman is not for everyone and it is most wise to be a celibate or eunuch otherwise as stated in the verses because keeping God's commandment is the ultimate.

Some have believes there is existence of homosexual relationships in the bible. Although there was love spoken between these persons, the word it was translated from was 'agape' which in the biblical terms wasn't a sexual love. The friendship between David and Jonathan is one the examples sited. 1 Sam 18 :3-4 spoke about the friendship of these two men and how a covenant was struck between the two for Jonathan loved David as his own soul. Also Jonathan striped himself of robe, garments, sword, bow and girdle and gave it all to David. Jonathan and David were said to be been knit in the soul (1 Sam 18:1) . The story of David and Jonathan cannot be complete with the mention of Saul. Saul was the king at the time and also Jonathan's father. Saul also had enmity with David. In 2 Sam 1 : 1 - 12, David mourned the death of Jonathan and Saul. Vs 26 said how David called Jonathan his brother and how Jonathan's love to him was "wonderful and passing the love of women". 

The relationship between Ruth and Naomi as also be sited as an example. Ruth 1 tells the story of Naomi and Ruth and how they were mother in law and daughter in law. The death of the men in their lives prompted Naomi to long to return to Israel from the land of Moab. Ruth however was a Moabite and insist she followed Naomi back to Bethlehem despite her refusal. In Ruth 1 :16, Ruth said she would follow Naomi and her-Naomi's God would be her God. Naomi in turn helped Ruth to gain security with Boaz until he married her became mother to the lineage of David. The relationship between Jesus and a disciple some say is John is also sited. John 13: 23 gave an account of the last supper and how a disciple that Jesus loved leaned onto Jesus. The same disciple was said to behold his mother and for the mother to behold her son at the foot of the cross in John 19:26. In John 2 1:7, the disciple Jesus loved was the one that recognized him at the sea of Tiberias and vs 20 says Peter saw the disciple Jesus loved following. All the bible verses never mentioned John by name but from the verses, the disciple Jesus loved was a HE. 

These relationships between these persons have between people of the same sex but it was a love of God 'agape' and nothing sexual. 

The bible seldom mentioned what happened to Sodom. The prophet Ezekiel spoke of Sodom in terms of justice not in terms of sexual sin. Judges 19 was the story of a man who gave shelter to a stranger as Lot did the angels in Sodom. The men of the city rounded the house and spoke the old man to bring out his visitor so they may know him. The stranger gave his concubine to them instead and they ravished her until dawn and she died. The man divided her body into 12 parts and sent her into all the coasts of Israel. This led to a war  between the Israelites and the house of Benjamin. The war was great and Israel ended up destroying all the cities they came to that had the Benjamins both their men and   Beasts alike (Judges 20: 48)

We are all sinners in our way. In Romans 3, St Paul spoke on we men are all sinners and 
yet God is all so merciful. Romans 3:10 rightly said, "There is none righteous, no, not one". Vs 23 continues and says all have sinned and fallen short of God's glory. 1 John: 8 says if we say we have no sin we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.  There are some sins not mentioned in the ten commandment such as a lot of sexual sins, unrighteousness, wickedness, drunkenness and others both old and new testament alike. 

Some hate groups go on like, "God hates Gays". This is not right even to the bible standards. The bible warns us not to shun or discriminate against 'sinners'  lest we would be self righteous. Matt 9:10-13 gives an account of the Pharisees and their reaction to Jesus and his disciples while eating with sinners and taxmen.  They asked the disciples were eating with sinners and ended up making themselves look better than the 'sinners'. In vs 30 they rejected the counsel of God against themselves, being not baptized of him (John the Baptist's baptism). Luke 18 was about parables which are earthly stories with heavenly meanings. There was one of two men that went up to the temple- the Pharisee and the tax collector. The self righteous boasting of the Pharisee can be seen in constract to the tax collector's "God be merciful to me a sinner". The tax collector was justified than the Pharisee at the end of the parable. 

The bible also warns us to avoid judging the moral choices of others. Matt 7: 1-5 warns us not to judge and we should fix the "beam" in our own eyes before we can fix the "smote" in others. Romans 14 also tells us not to judge others based on our opinions. Vs 4 asked who are we to judge another man's servant. Vs 10 asks why we shall you  judge your brother for we all shall stand before God's judgement sit. Vs 12says every man shall give account for himself.  James 4 asks us to be wary of wars and fights, not grieve God's spirit in us and for us to resist the devil.  Vs 11 says we shouldn't speak evil of our brother or judge him lest you become a judge and there is only One lawgiver who is able to save and destroy and that is God. All of these would be much easier if we loved the said brother. Matt 22:36-40 urges us to love our neighbor as   ourself. This too shouldn't be a problem if we love God with all our hearts, our soul and mind. As these are the two commandments Jesus gave to us. With these two commandments of love, we shouldn't judge or hate other persons - homosexual or not. There should also be equal civil rights for the gays and lesbians as a requirement of Bible teachings as we MUST act with kindness and respect for all people.

Author's note:
Some folks might have thought it a bit lame that I was talking about the whole chapter as I wrote but it was partly because I found it hard as a person to have my bible present when reading articles such as this online. I hope someone was able to grasp something from my various days of research. I used the King James Version of the bible so there maybe some other meanings to words used that I did not have the idea of. There wasn't any mention of consensual homosexual sexual relations in the bible. There was mention of pederasty which was basically a boy kept for sexual relations with a man or a male prostitute in general which the Greek word "carmite" stands for. Also there is mention of "arsekoites" which is a Greek word meaning sodomite which in turn translates into homosexual. 

Different church groups have their take on the topic of homosexuality. I am Roman Catholic so I would talk on the stand of the Catholic church in my own words. The church believes homosexuals are called to chastity so as to fulfill God's will for their lives. The examples of the acclaimed homosexual relationships in the bible I thought was absurd but put it to document all I found on the subject. I had some help from websites which I didn't put down which is my mistake. I admit that I had help because it's not like I started to flip my bible from Genesis to Revelations till I found something. I thank God for giving me the inspiration to do this and all errors are entirely mine of course. 

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Odekanmi Billion: In fertility issues: Adoption or Surrogacy

Odekanmi Billion: In fertility issues: Adoption or Surrogacy: Since before the arrival of the Royal Baby Prince George  of Cambridge, The economy of the British Government have been predicted to shoot ...