I THOUGHT I KNEW

I THOUGHT I KNEW

I thought I knew what I would feel when I saw her again. I thought I’ll feel something. I’ll feel something of worth. I thought I’ll feel pain or anger, joy or gratitude but I felt none of these. I never thought I’ll get so attached to anything. I guess I did for her. But when I did saw her I felt nothing. In fact I pitied her.

            A few months ago she left me. I felt it was the end of the world. She just left like the wind. I was so sure I felt it but there was nothing left to show she existed but memories. Memories don’t help much too. They fade away with time. Later it became vague. Then you try to convince yourself that it existed. But you can hardly remember though. Remember what she looked like or felt like. How you looked at her like some priced jewel.         

            I was in love with her. I think I still am. She was just perfect for me. There was no day I forgot her. I always remembered her. I thought of her more than I thought of myself. She was my all in all. A day without her was with something missing. Like the essence of life itself was missing. The truth is I really don’t know why she left me. I guess she had to. Or maybe she just got tired of me. Yes, when she left I missed her. I wanted her back so much. That didn’t bring her back either. I had to settle for less.

 It happened like they say “When the preferable becomes unavailable, then the available becomes the preferable”. The other thought I loved her too. But it wasn’t that kind of love I felt for my Nokia N75. The other was a Nokia 3310. I think I know why she had to leave now. We were coming back home together one night and she fell in water. I thought it was just a minor accident but I guess it wasn’t. She didn’t come on again. Like I said, she was my all in all. We played games together and yes I never forgot her in a day. So, she had to go to the repairer. She was with the repairer for months. He had to diagnose what was wrong with her exactly. I guessed she was encrypted just like me. I guess that’s why she was perfect for me. She just got back, my Nokia N75. I mean but I’m unto something better now. I’m with a Samsung C5212 Dual GPRS Band phone. Not bad for someone who had to settle for Nokia 3310.

I thought I knew what I would feel when I saw her again. I thought I’ll feel something. I’ll feel something of worth. I thought I’ll feel pain or anger, joy or gratitude but I felt none of these. I. But when I did saw her I felt nothing. In fact I pitied her.

THE END